I awoke in the morning 

Dawn light gifting me its rays 

The pain in my womb wouldn’t subside, 

And so the baby would be born in May 

I stumbled to my phone 

Attempting to call the midwife 

I’d decided that here in my small living room

I would attempt to give life 

It seemed like hours before she arrived 

With her many bags of remedies in hand 

I sat on my couch practicing breathing 

In and out, in and out, and in he ran 

A man I couldn’t recognize 

His cheeks flushed like a rose in bloom  

A smile upon his face and fear in his eyes 

He was the father I assumed

He came to my side and coddled me in his arms 

I screamed aloud and he grabbed my hand 

Kissing my cheek and praising my pain 

In his grasp I noticed the absence of a wedding band 

As she filled the tub with buckets of water 

I felt each cramp, jerk, and jibe so lifelike, tragically

Each pinch ignited a fire in my belly 

My heart pulsated rapidly

The months of discomfort I couldn’t procure 

In fact yesterday’s breakfast wasn’t something I could remember

I assumed this to be normal as I was soon to give birth             

In this pain I allowed my brain to surrender

I was settled into the bath 

Feeling oddly puissant 

In my weakest moment I felt power 

Open wide like a dehiscent

I pushed, and pushed, and pushed some more 

Until then there was blood, and goop, and a little baby 

With their tiny hands and glimmering eyes, they let out a shrill cry 

They closed their palm around my finger and they claimed me 

I sat there in my mess with the man, the midwife, and my little baby 

Crying with tears of joy or pain, I couldn’t tell 

We gifted them the name Orion 

They deserved a strong name which matched their strong yell

I sat days after lying in bed 

Orion’s small breaths made me to beam with pride 

I felt safe and sound 

The man laid by my side 

Eventually their presence lulled me to sleep 

And my eye fluttered to a brief close 

When I opened them I was completely alone 

No Orion beside me with their tiny toes, sniffling nose, who was in my arms before I dozed

I had awoken to midnight 

Moonlight lending its spiteful rays to me 

I shuddered with fear at my empty grasp 

Sitting about and looking around I began to see 

That the man was gone, and my poor baby too 

Neither was reality, but how could that be? 

I’d felt their fingers grasp my hand, smelled their little head, and heard their hiccups          

They’d been my muse, my Calliope 

For days after I’d felt marooned, alone 

Given a shadow of life that now scarred me vacant 

Nothing could explain the loss I felt 

For I wish I’d never awakened 

After nights of sleepless regret 

I’d made my bed for which to die in 

And then there in the sky beaming so brightly 

Did I finally see my beautiful Orion